


Only Look at Me

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Apologies, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Jeith Valentine Exchange, M/M, Making Up, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Valentine Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22709368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's frustrating, how much Keith riles up every single emotion in James. Yet James loves it, because he still loves Keith after all these years.For Ebhenah <3
Relationships: James Griffin/Keith (Voltron)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	Only Look at Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ebhenah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ebhenah/gifts).



> For the Jeith Valentine Exchange!

Frustrated is the only way to describe James’ current mood, the second he saw the six paladins land on Earth and almost triggered the Galra’s alarms. James felt a lot of negative emotions as of the last four years: fearful, angry, scared, but frustrated is different. It’s a build up from situations going wrong, over and over, and James being unable to fix that.

Keith Kogane, was his frustration.

That scruffy kid who sat a few seats behind him in middle school, who beat every score in the simulator and written tests in the Garrison, who was now back as the leader of a giant sentient robot and looking frustratingly  _ hot. _

James blew his bangs from his face. He thought he got over his hormonal urges through puberty, but here he is at 21 still pining over the kid who punched him. 

Nadia made fun of him, saying that their relationship was the equivalent of the boy pulling on a girl’s pigtails because he likes her.

“And which one of us has the pigtails?” James asked. Nadia didn’t answer, just smiled and whistled away. 

James couldn’t exactly agree with her, it wasn’t like he bullied Keith because he liked him, and Keith… definitely didn’t ignore and mind his own business because he liked James.

It was just frustrating how aloof Keith was, how he didn’t  _ care _ about anyone or anything. His appreciation for Shirogane was the closest of fondness James has ever seen from Keith, then when Shirogane was presumed dead, Keith reverted back to his lone self.

Now he returned with a team, a group of people he cared about. Even surrounded in war, Keith’s finally smiling.

And it’s frustrating, that James couldn’t make him smile first.

-

He was Keith’s classmate before the paladins, he knew of Keith’s past before joining the Garrison.

He was the first guy to try and befriend Keith, who in turn just scoffed and walked away from him. 

James pushed that memory of his twelve year old self back down, because they were twelve, and who wasn’t a moody kid by that age? He shouldn’t hold that grudge now, not when Keith was finally looking at him.

Still as a colleague rather than a friend. 

He shouldn’t be jealous of Keith’s friends (even if he was already jealous how Keith followed Shirogane around like a duckling), but the way Hunk Garrett had his arm wrapped around Keith’s shoulder, the two laughing about an inside joke between the two of them as the rest of the paladins look confused, it brought back those old feelings back to the surface. 

He didn’t even dislike Garrett. He’s a great engineer with a heart of gold. Of course James wanted to help him when they found out his parents were enslaved by the Galra. He wasn’t expecting praise or to be carried on a throne after finding them. 

No, instead he just selfishly wanted Keith’s attention.

For Keith to praise and thank him for helping. For Keith to say that James is his hero. 

For Keith to say he loves him--

Keith’s laugh broke James out of his angry staredown with Garrett’s arm. He’s reminded that Keith may never say those words to him, because they’re simply colleagues and nothing more. 

James abruptly stood, pushing the chair hard enough it scraped the floor. The noise was loud enough to grab Keith’s attention. Before anyone could say something, James stormed out of the mess hall.

Right now he just wanted to crawl under his blankets and sleep for the next four years. Maybe by then he’ll finally be over his crush. 

Of course the universe had a different plan, because he’s barely in the dorm halls when Keith finally caught up with him. “James, wait!” 

He should have kept walking, lock Keith out in the hallway while he sulked. Instead he does as he’s asked, and stopped in his tracks. 

Keith stopped just a few feet away from James, cautiously keeping his distance. “I just wanted to thank you again, for what you did for Hunk.” 

James awkwardly shifted in his stance. “Not a big deal…”

Keith chuckled lightly. “Kinda a big deal.” he corrected. “You never break the rules!” There’s a lightness in his voice, one that brought butterflies in James’ heart. 

“Well, I’d break them for you.” He mumbled. Except it was louder than it should have been. Keith totally heard him and decided now not to comment. 

Face totally red, James looked up at Keith to try and read him. He looked, surprised, if anything. 

“O-oh…” Keith finally said after many, many long beats, “Thank you…?” 

“No problem.” James said quickly. “Well I’m beat, I’m going to head to my quarters.” 

“Ah-- it’s just barely noon-- okay.” Keith said, defeated. 

“Yup.”

“Okay.”

…

“I’ll see you later--” “See you out there--”

Keith was the first to take a step back. “Right, uh… see you around then?” He wouldn’t give James a chance to answer as he already made his way back to the dining hall.

Well, frick, that could have gone way better. 

(No it couldn’t). 

\--

At least the Garrison kept them busy enough to keep them away from each other. James had drills to run with his team, Keith was either with his Paladins or with Iverson discussing intergalactic traveling. During times when the MFEs and Paladins had to work together, James kept it as professional as possible, only talking to Keith if he spoke to him first. After each meeting James quickly retreated to any other part of the base. 

He pretended not to see Keith’s hurt face. 

James knew he’s acting immature, and the whole “ignore your crush” won’t make them like you. He just has no idea how to face him after that sudden confession, and no, he won’t listen to Ryan who has already said “just talk to him”. If he’d talk to him it’d just end up like last time--James confessing something embarrassing and then running away. He doesn’t need to blurt out how he dreamt of finally kissing Keith, or how he imagined their first date or first time together. That is for James and his brain to keep playing out in the privacy of his mind. 

\--

It’s late in the evening, just past curfew. Although curfew was lifted post Galra invasion, James felt himself picking up the pace from his room to the mess hall just for a glass of water, just in case a commander would yell at him to hurry back to his room. He passed some commanders, who barely glanced in his direction, and he let out a breath. 

The mess hall was just up ahead. A few more cadets walk past him, ready for bed too, but the lights in the hall stay on. Just before he entered, two voices stopped him in his tracks, and he hid behind the wall. 

“I thought you two made up?” Oh that was Garrett, who he should have expected to be there since he likes to hang around and experiment with food, at least according to Ryan. 

“Who?” And that voice is Keith.

“You and James.”

James choked on air. How did he--

“Uh… w-what are we making up for?” Keith asked, a little nervous, like he was caught in a lie. 

“Well, I mean you did punch him like five years ago, but you two keep staring at each other like  _ that _ .”

“Like what?! A-and how did you know about that?!” 

“Dude, I was in your flight class.”

James smacked his forehead. He does remember Garrett, because the guy had major motion sickness,.

“Oh… seriously?” Keith says. “Sorry… I didn’t... I mean I only knew James so I didn’t...notice.”

Garrett laughed. “It’s fine dude. But I mean, are you two okay? You keep looking at him like you want to talk to him.”

James should leave, this isn’t his to hear. If Keith wanted to talk to him he will, and when James is ready to stop hiding he’ll listen.

“I do want to,” Keith said, “But… I think he’s avoiding me. I don’t know. I get it, I punched him and we never really got along, so I get why he doesn’t want to but…”

“Ah, first loves are hard to let go.

What?

“ _ What _ ?!” 

Garrett laughed again. “Dude, you got a  _ crush _ , I mean I don’t know who punches their crush but you’ve liked James since we were cadets. I’m a bit surprised that it didn't go away.”

Keith… liked him?

No, no! Garrett’s wrong, he and Keith didn’t even know each other back then, so how would he know?

“I--I… how did you know?” 

“It’s written all over your face. You keep  _ staring _ at him, like Lance with Allura. Well, not sure in the same way but same long gazey.” 

“...oh”

Oh in-fucking-deed, Keith  _ liked  _ him! And James was telling his dick to calm down because he’s still not supposed to be listening! 

“Yeah well, I guess I never got over him.” Keith finally admitted. “But he’s still avoiding me. So, gotta get over I eventually right?” There’s a chuckle at the end of his sentence, but James knew it’s fake. “You’d think four years in space and that thing with Regis would help, but I couldn’t get him out of my mind. And he’s  _ hotter _ now and--argh!” 

“There, there, buddy, let it all out. Want another milkshake?”

“No…yes….”

James would also like a milkshake, or his cup of water, but going in now would just make things even more awkward than before. He returned to his room, and decided that he will face Keith tomorrow.

And figure out who the hell Regis is. 

\--

Of course, James ran into Keith just as he was coming out of the shower just in a towel, while James was heading to the showers still groggy, probably with dry saliva on his cheek, and messy bed hair. 

And god when did Keith grow  _ muscles _ ? His chest and biceps were perfectly toned, and there was a thin trail of hair from his navel down to the middle of his v-shaped hips, and James wanted to lick the water dripping down his abs.

“James? A-are you okay-”

“Can we talk!?” 

Right, his stupid brain when he sees super hot Keith Kogane, has a mind of it’s own. 

“Uh… I mean, can I get changed first?” 

No, in fact take off that towel-- “Y-yeah I mean. Can you meet me in the hangers? Maybe after drills? I’ll meet you by your lion.”

To that, Keith relaxed. “Sure, I’ll see you then.”

He walked past him, and James held every urge to look back, just in case that towel fell.

God, he needed help.

\--

“God, you need help”

“Drop it Ryan.”

“Are you gonna bring roses and candles?”

“Shut up Nadia.”

“The infirmary still has a supply of non-expired condoms and lubrication--”

“I am firing all of you.”

\--

James wasearly, or at least he felt like he’s early. Drills ended 10 minutes ago but he skipped out on the debriefing, just in case Keith was already there. He knows Keith’s impatient, so not wanting to miss him James made sure he was there early enough, and he’ll wait for Keith.

Only three minutes had passed and James felt himself growing restless. 

Maybe Keith didn’t want to see him at all. It’s been four years, and it wasn’t like they parted ways well the first time around. They had gotten into another fight, James telling Keith he was a coward for dropping out. Why would he-

“James?”

James felt himself straightening his uniform and standing perfectly straight. He unconsciously saluted Keith, who just laughed at the gesture.

“You don’t have to do that, I think we’re on the same level of command.”

“Right…” James said, putting his hand down and scratching the back of his head. “Um, thanks for coming.”

“Of course.” Keith said, “Anything you need I’m here. What’s up?”

The nerves returned. James fidgeted with his hands as he tried to just stay still. It shouldn't be hard to talk to Keith like  _ this _ , normally, between two colleagues. Hell, just a week ago the two were in a screaming match in the meeting room, and now James couldn’t speak a proper sentence.

Then again neither could Keith, who was having a hard time approaching him too. 

One of them has to make the move first, otherwise they'll be forced to move on. 

"I'm sorry." James began. "For being such a dick to you before. I shouldn't have said those things."

Keith relaxed into a smile. "James, it’s okay, I wasn't that great either. I mean I  _ punched _ you and I never apologized for that."

"Well, I kinda deserved it…"

Keith shook his head. "No, you didn't. And I do forgive you for what you said, can you forgive me?"

"I already have." James admitted too quickly. "Keith… I...uh…"

“James?” Keith asked with worry in his voice. He took a step closer. “Are you okay?”

God, why was Keith so pretty? His eye lashes were longer, hair no longer a mullet, and a jawline sharp enough to cut through metal yet shapes his face so handsomely. His eyes too, such a beautiful violet that could not possibly be human. He could get lost in his eyes forever. 

And his lips. James’ eyes always traveled down to his lips because he wanted to kiss him so badly. They’re thin and somewhat chap, but a very pretty pink that would look great swollen and wet from kissing. 

“James?” Keith asked again.

His words were gone again, now that Keith was so close to him with a look of concern, just for him. It’s the first time, in a long time, that Keith was only looking at him. And he wanted that for himself.

James leaned forward and captured Keith’s lips with his own. 

It’s quick, but James savored the few seconds of tasting Keith’s lips. Chapped, yet with a hint of strawberry lip balm. 

He pulled away, unable to meet Keith’s eyes, and after a few moments of Keith also not speaking, he laughed nervously. “Well! Good talk! I-I’ll see you around--”

Just before he could leave Keith grabbed his wrist, and James stopped in his tracks. Still, he didn’t turn around.

“James,” Keith said again, his voice low. “Please look at me?”

He couldn’t deny him this time, so he did, moving his bangs out of his eyes to finally meet Keith. 

Keith’s face was completely red, and his eyes were shining like the bright stars. He pulled James closer, so that they’re chest to chest, when Keith took the lead and kissed back. 

James easily relaxed in Keith’s arms. He closed his eyes and brought a hand up to his hair and caressed him. Keith’s hand finds its way to the small of James’ back and pulled him closer. James parted his lips slightly, and Keith’s tongue drove right in. 

He felt weak, his knees giving out but Keith’s there to catch him. God, Keith’s so strong, to be able to hold him up while his tongue explores his mouth. He tasted Keith too, and James felt like he’s on fire. 

When they parted ways to take a breath, Keith’s face was still as flustered, and now his lips were swollen from their kiss. But his eyes, they’ve turned into fire. He’s looking at James, and only at him now. 

“Wow,” James said , his breath leaving his body. 

Keith chuckled. “Wow….yeah.” He pressed their foreheads together. “So, what did you want to tell me?”

“No--th-that was it.”

Keith hummed, pleased. “Okay, wanna keep doing that?”

“Yes,” James said, “But uh, maybe not in the hangers?”

Keith took James’ hand, and led him to his lion instead of their private quarters as James initially thought. “No one would look for us here.” Keith assured. “And maybe we can fly in Black together?”

It’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever asked him. “ _ Please _ .”

They disappear into Black, and in the temporary darkness of the lion James only felt Keith around him, the way his hands roamed his body as he helped James out of his uniform. Keith’s hot breath against his neck sent a shiver down his spine, and he quietly begged Keith to take him apart. 

His Paladin followed his command. 

  
  
  



End file.
